Jalapeno hands

I was really nervous when I got squirted in the eye by a jalapeno pepper.

Before last week, I didn't even know I was supposed to use latex gloves while slicing up the li'l buggers. I was making jalapeno poppers from the peppers I got at the South Austin Farmer's Market. The poppers were alright, if you're into fried cheese. They were also a bit crunchy and extra hot. In any case, my hands rather stung after I made them.

Later, the sting escalated to a slow burn that was actually very distracting. I figured it must be the peppers, as I suddenly remembered stories about friends of friends going to the emergency room after post-culinary foreplay. I assumed my hands must be at least marginally um, less tender.

It did seem to be getting more intense, though. I decided to google it.

Jesus Christ! I read several horror stories about trips to the emergency room on various message boards and the dangers of "Jalapeno Hands." Okay, so what to do?

Online, there were a million crackpot ideas about what to do, including soaking your hands in bleach, vinegar, ammonia, or all of the above. One blogger said her grandma told her to run her fingers through her hair and it worked like a charm. I did that. It did not work like a charm. Unless the charm you're talking about is like, a bullcrap charm. Nothing worked.

I was afraid that the online horror stories were about to become an Omniwhorror story!

The burn did last for three days, but seriously -- what is wrong with these people? Emergency room? Maybe I'm just one of those people that will die with appendicitis just because I don't want to shell out three hundred bucks, but it wasn't that bad. And I know for a fact these peppers were super hot, because I ate them, and they made my tongue want to stop, drop and roll.

I saved a few of the peppers in order to make salsa with the lovely tomatoes E.I. Ho and I received with our new CSA box. I had two peppers, two very large tomatoes, a red onion, some lime, and two cloves of garlic. Everything was organic, and the only nonlocal items were the lime and the garlic, which I bought at Whole Foods. With ziplock baggies for gloves, I sliced into the jalapeno. Direct hit to my left eye. Dammit! I took a shot glass and filled it with water, then did a quick eye rinse.

I waited around for my eye to swell up or turn red, but nothing happened. I don't know if I was just lucky or what. The salsa was...okay. Just okay. One of the things that is sometimes a drag about all this hands-on cooking is that for a lot of work, some stuff just doesn't turn out that well. Plus, I forgot to take pictures.

Like life, it's a process.

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