Eat your Devil’s Food and be quiet

We’re in the weeds up to our bleary eyeballs with deadlines and other pesky interruptions to our regular blogging obsessiveness. In the meantime, please nosh on this cooking-themed third installment from Barry Foy’s Devil’s Food Dictionary, that "pioneering culinary reference work consisting entirely of lies":

celebrity chef An accomplished chef who, because his food’s prices have reached their conceivable upper limit, is forced to host TV series, appear on culinary cruises, and open proxy establishments in Las Vegas in order to avoid income stagnation. Celebrity chefs are believed to have better and more frequent sex than regular chefs.

comfort food 1) Any type of food that you would prefer your friends did not see you enjoy; 2) the fortifying, familiar, and satisfying fare that killed your grandparents. Note: Comfort food’s opposite, discomfort food, is outlawed by the Geneva Conventions.

diet 1) The sum total of food items that a given person eats; 2) the sum total of food items that a given person does not eat.

home cooking The opposite of restaurant cuisine, in that it does not improve no matter how many bad reviews it gets.

Read installment #1, on food labels >
Read installment #2, on industrial agriculture >

Frog illustration by John Boesche.

2 Responsesto “Eat your Devil’s Food and be quiet”

  1. Tammy says:

    Barry, do you have a publisher, yet? If not, I’m losing all faith in publishing.

  2. Bonnie P. says:

    Tammy, Barry does not have a publisher yet. Yo Ethicurean readers, hook him up!